Story: 1/5
Visuals: 2/5
# of Breckin Meyers out of # Desired: 1/0
Overall: 1/5


Wow, okay, this was a bad fucking movie – and I'm not just saying that because it was a Disney movie about Nascar, starring Lindsay Lohan (although that should count as a legitimate reason to hate this shit bucket of a film). Unlike Jason, I didn't watch the movie "fully loaded," but I still had trouble understanding why the makers thought that audiences should find their creation worth watching.

Can I also say that Michael Keaton deserves another chance? He was Beetlegeuse and Batman, for God's sake! He is way better than this crappy movie. I would also like to add that we could have done without Breckin Meyer – he added nothing to the movie and when Jason told me that he was in the movie after we had watched it together, I seriously couldn't remember seeing him the first time around. It wasn't until I saw a few of the scenes again, while actually looking for the guy, that I noticed his presence. Okay, so maybe I was slightly intoxicated when I watched the movie the first time. That Bacardi 151 is strong stuff...

Let's see, what else... Lindsay Lohan, Michael Keaton, Butthole Meyer… oh yeah! Herbie is a complete cock-block! What the fuck, dude?! Just because Lindsay is handling your stick doesn't give you the right to ruin other guys' chances with her. Fuck you, Herbie! You were a lot cooler back in the '70s, man. I really wish Matt Dillon had wiped his ass on Herbie's upholstery and then proceeded to rape Lindsay Lohan – I just couldn't sympathize with either of the two. Hell, I think the "villain" actually had a point in hating Herbie and that he should have won the race!